I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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