Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
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i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
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What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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