Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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