well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
