When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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