no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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