Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
