There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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