The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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