Buhtt sex?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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