That's intense
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize