i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
