I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
