I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
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He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
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This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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