I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
