Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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