i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
