Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
