yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Someone signed my nipple.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
