i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
