she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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