he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I AM VODKA MAN
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
