Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
