He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
