i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Houston, we have a squirter
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
