when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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