i permit you to call me
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
