Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Randomize
