Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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