i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
