I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
