A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize