please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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