ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
