Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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