Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it's like iHOP with fire
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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