I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
