you would pick up someone in the library
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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