What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
