So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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