why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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