I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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