No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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