Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize