What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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