A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize