Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
