Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
