I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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