Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
