the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I think people are normalizing furries
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
