Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
