Do you still have your period?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
