Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
