Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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