omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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