And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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