Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
