Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize