Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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