went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
